SAME GOALS, DIFFERENT SPIRIT

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
— Proverbs 3:5-6

I graduated high school over two years ago and like every other ambitious young girl, I had the perfect college plan drawn for my life. I had planned every single thing that I wanted but not how I was going to obtain them because I knew that God was going to miraculously make it happen— or so I thought…

I’m an only child, born in Mexico, and first-generation college student. My mom and I came to the U.S. when I was seven. I struggled to pick up English at first because I attended a bilingual school but once my mom moved in with her now husband, I was forced to attend an all English speaking school. Thankfully, I had a supportive Hispanic third-grade teacher who constantly challenged me and pushed me. I watched a lot of television and read (tried to) read a lot of content in English. By the end of third grade, I read and spoke English with great proficiency.

Raised Catholic, I never knew Jesus, let alone God. I knew found the Lord during the ninth grade and I am so thankful I did because high school would’ve been completely different without Jesus in my life. Graduating from a prestigious college has always been a dream of mine and I have always known that’s something God placed in my heart…a desire, a God dream I know He’ll fulfill.

Senior year, I took it upon myself to get into the best school and do whatever it took to make it there. Looking back, it was mentally exhausting and toxic. I developed a toxic relationship with school and distorted a God dream into something…selfish. I was filled with pride and anger towards God because every door was closing. I had no support at home and the One person that was supposed to be helping me was making it impossible for me to achieve my dreams.

Every door closed and I had no option but to take a break for a semester. Spring 2017 was my first official semester of college at my local community college (which I said I’d never go to). God chose that moment to humble me and as soon as I realized that, He called me to take a break and leave school. Brokenhearted and confused, I left the school in the midst of the semester. I was difficult to do so but I had peace because I had faith that God was working something out.

I was out of school for about two years and it was one of the biggest blessings. God had me focus on working and serving at my church. During this break, God taught me a lot about trusting His perfect will, tithing, and brought me a lot of healing. He provided in every single way— I even got jobs working for influential people and some of the greatest athletes in the world! Everything opportunity I was given was from God because on paper, I am not qualified but God still favored me.

During my break, I learned new things about me, I discovered new passions and readjusted my focus on what God wants me to do. This fall I started school again and although it’s only been two weeks, it’s completely different; I have a community that checks up on me and supports me, I have peace about my goals but most importantly, I am not rushing the process. I am at peace where I am because I know God has me here. And now, when people ask me where I think I’ll be in five years I say, “Wherever God has me.”

If you’re a Christ-follower, you know much wrestling comes with letting go of control. I have not arrived, and I never will, but I am on God’s time. The timeline I created for my life no longer exists, the God-given goals and dreams still remain but they will no longer be on my terms. I trust that God will provide me with direction even when He appears to be silent, and I know that the dreams and visions He’s trusted me with for my life and His Kingdom will come to fruition— I simply need to focus on Jesus.